Why exactly do we need gendered pens?

     While gendered marketing is very easily seen in children's products, it is also present in adult marketing. Most of the time it is unquestioned, of course men and women need different deodorants! A video that I found on Tumblr explained gendered marketing very well.

     One thing I found very interesting is that women's products are typically more expensive than men's products, even when the two products are the same, just in different packaging. I believe this is because women are encouraged to see their bodies as projects, and are therefore more willing to spend money on products that claim to improve their bodies.
   
     I also found the gendering of non-gendered items as ridiculous. A few years ago, when Bic Pens for Her originally came out, Ellen Degeneres talked about them on her talk show.

     One problem with the pens for women is that it genders all other pens as male. Therefore, women will be encouraged to spend more money on these pens because they are "specifically made to fit a woman's hand." On their website, Bic even puts Bic For Her under "Added Value Ballpoint Pens." What exactly is the added value? The pink color of the pen? The "For Her" written on the package? It just doesn't make any sense. And yet, women will buy them even though they are just like all other pens on the market. Ellen's commentary shows how ridiculous the whole idea is.

Why You Should Not WHAT?!

     I am appalled CBS. CBS News recently released an article on its website titled "Why You Shouldn't' Report" Sexual Harassment." I feel like the title alone is enough to make people's skin crawl, but as you read, it gets worse. I will be going through the article, explaining why this is so problematic.

1. It is on a news website.

Even though it is an opinion piece, many people will not read the intro of the article, or even the article itself. Instead, many people will see the title in big, blog letters on their computers or their phones and take the advice given in the article without even reading it because it is on a credible news source. Those who do read the article will give it credibility because it is published on a credible website.

2. It is written by a woman.

 

 While this article may be seen as sexiest and out of date if written by a man, because it is written by a woman, especially one credible enough to be published on CBS News, readers are more likely to think that she is correct in her advice.

 3. The article itself

"Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dominique Strauss-Kahn's conduct with women have come to the forefront in the debate over sexual harassment. Of course, sexual harassment is ubiquitous. It is so prevalent on the job that girls can expect to encounter workplace harassment the first summer they work during high school. And it continues for a long time."

According to Penelope Trunk, workplace harassment is just to be expected, and even though it will continue from the teenage years until the woman leaves the workforce, she is telling girls and women to accept it because it "is ubiquitous." What can we do about it?

"As teachers and parents, most of us spend a lot of time making sure girls know what harassment looks like. What's okay and what's not okay when it comes to dealing with boys and men. If he tells you that you look nice one day or pats you on the back, that's okay but if he's ogling your breasts constantly or trying to give you a back rub, that's not."

This paragraph puts the responsibility for knowing what is and is not sexual harassment on girls and women. It is not a man's responsibility to know if he is or is not harassing a female. If the man is not responsible for knowing what exactly sexual harassment is and what is and is not acceptable, then he is not responsible for his inappropriate actions.

"Just because you identify it, though, doesn't mean you should report it. In fact, smart women don't file formal complaints against ordinary harassment. They either ignore it or handle it on their own."

She is doing two different things in this paragraph. One, she is encouraging women to not file formal complaints about sexual harassment by saying that they will be smart if they don't, but she is also discouraging women from filing because that would make them dumb. A woman ignoring or handling sexual harassment on her own can be very dangerous as ignoring sexual harassment over time can cause it escalate, possibly into sexual assault, and handling sexual harassment alone can not ensure that it will stop.

"1. The laws don't work.
The U.S. has a clear legal definition of sexual harassment. But the definition is not so important because the laws proscribe what a company needs to do in order to show the company does not promote harassment in the workplace. Once the company takes those measures, it's hard to win a case against the employer, no matter what the guy did initially. This means, for one thing, a company does not need to care for the woman's feelings or the legal definition of harassment.
Another thing is that it's very easy for the company to fire a woman who complains. The legal protections are murky and ineffective. Yes, sometimes women win big awards or men lose their jobs (See Senator Bob Packwood), but in a series of interviews I did with labor lawyers who represent women plaintiffs, the lawyers agreed that women are more likely to get fired for complaining and lose their case in court."

I am not going to argue and say that our laws are perfect at protecting women and punishing men for sexual misconduct because that is just not true. However, instead of just throwing in the towel and telling women to never report harassment, women should be encouraged to go out and try to gain better protection under the law.

"2. Harassment is an unfortunate part of climbing the ladder.
For sure, not all men engage in harassment. But the men who do self-select by seeking powerful positions in society. The same trait that makes men want power is the trait that makes men think it's okay to use that power in a male/female dynamic. But here's something that happens today: women who earn little money and have no career are more likely to feel they have nothing to lose if they report harassment. (Yes, they may not be able to afford to lose their paycheck, but it's easier for them to replace the job they have with another job that pays the same amount.) So they are dangerous to harass. Whereas women who have a big career have a lot to lose by reporting harassment, so they put up with it.
This is why, for example, Strauss-Kahn was sent to jail by a maid, but once he was there, many women with positions at the IMF came forward to complain as well. By the time the guy is in jail, there is much less risk of retribution. The bottom line for a woman, though, is that if you want to have a career of increasing power, you are going to have to keep quiet about the harassment."

Trunk is telling women that they need to chose between having a powerful career and feeling safe and comfortable in the workplace. By giving women this illusion of choice, you can then blame the victim of sexual harassment because she was the one who "chose" a career where she knew she would be harassed.

"4. International norms are ridiculous.
The laws that govern sexual harassment outside of the US are a joke. France is generally accepting of extramarital affairs, and sexual transgressions are seen as personal, not public. The IMF, as an example of a typical office full of highly educated people outside the US, has very lenient rules when it comes to harassment - to the point where women at the IMF dress carefully to keep men from bugging them. (For those of you who want below-the-knee skirts at work, please note that this is the same analysis to support the wearing of a Burka: men can't control themselves so women need to cover up.)
Once you become aware of the widespread tolerance for harassment throughout the world, it becomes clear that you will have to put up with it as a form of cultural diversity. If you want to be good at working with a wide range of people, you need to be good at brushing off harassment."

Again, Trunk is telling women that because it is highly accepted throughout the world, women should learn to just brush off harassment. I advocate that women do not just simply accept the status-quo about sexual harassment because as long as it is accepted, women will have to deal with it. Sexual harassment is not simply "cultural diversity," making women feel threatened and uncomfortable is not "cultural diversity." It is just wrong.

"5. Know the difference between sexual assault and harassment.
Harassment is often something the guy doesn't even notice. A study of from the American Association of University Women found that in more than half the cases, women thought men were harassing them and the men had no idea. So often, women can just tell the guy, I don't like that. And it works. Other times, women say I don't like that, and the guy keeps doing it. At that point, the woman probably has to take action (side note: here's a good way to leverage sexual harassment to your benefit).
There is a big difference between harassment and sexual assault. Strauss-Kahn is accused of attempted rape. This is in another legal domain, and the laws are stronger, and women should report rape. I'm glad that maid at the Sofitel did."

Trunk is again taking the blame and responsibility off of the harassers and onto the victims. As I said before, if a man doesn't know what he's doing is harassment, then he cannot be held responsible. In my personal experience, many men do not stop sexually harassing a woman after she tells him to stop. Instead, he either gets mad or amused that she got offended and then will continue his actions just to get a rise out of her. Trunk is also ignoring the fact sexual harassment can lead to sexual assault or rape. I also believe that this article could discourage women from reporting rape as well, even though in the last two sentences Trunk tells them that they should. I believe this because Trunk has spent the entire article telling women that inappropriate sexual comments, advances, etc. should just be brushed off, and would be by an intelligent woman. It, then, would not be an illogical jump for women to believe that an intelligent woman would also just brush off and not report sexual assault or rape.

Yes, the article was posted three years ago, so some may wonder why to write about it at all. Many of the comments on the article said the same thing. However, this article has recently gained popularity through the social media site, Tumblr. This means that a whole new group of females, especially young women as the site allows people to join as young as thirteen years old, are reading this article. While many look at it with a critical view, many others will not and take its message to heart.

As I domineeringly lean over you, pushing you against a wall...Sexual harassment in action

Big Bang Sexism

     There are MANY problematic aspects of The Big Bang Theory, but one I find seriously troubling is the sexism involved in the show. Howard Wolowitz, a self-proclaimed ladies man, constantly hits on the lead female character, Penny, throughout the series until he's in a relationship. All of Howard's advances are met with a very clear no from Penny, but Howard refuses to stop harassing her. 

Examples:

"The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition"

Howard: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.

Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.

Howard: So there is a number.

"The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization"

Penny: Howard, would you like to explain to me why your Facebook page has a picture of me sleeping on your shoulder captioned: "Me and My Girlfriend"?

Howard: Uh oh, here comes "The Talk"!

"The Lizard Spock Expansion"

Howard: May I say Penny, not a lot of women could look as hot as you do with such greasy hair.

     As seen in the examples above, Howard hitting on Penny has, through almost constant repetition, turned into harassment. Howard's friends, however, never do anything about his behavior expect for, almost halfheartedly, telling him to stop because he's embarrassing himself and them.In Season 2 Episode 12, "The Killer Robot Instability", Howard again hits on Penny, but this time she does not just shrug him off.

     After Penny yells at Howard, it is obvious that his friends are shocked by her harshness. They even compare her to a killer robot, an inanimate object with no feelings whose only purpose is to destroy. Summaries of the episode even call Penny's behavior cruel and that Howard was a subject of her wrath. 

     What is even worse is that Howard's friends tell Penny that she needs to go and apologize to him for hurting his feelings. Even though she was the one who had to deal with the constant sexual harassment for years, she was at fault for yelling at him to make him stop. When Penny goes over to Howard's house to apologize, he takes her apology as an okay for him to make a move on her again.

     Penny, reasonably, responds with punching him in the face. However, apparently even that is not enough to deter him, as at the end of the episode he tells his friends that he is at least half-way to pity sex from Penny.

     This exchange is problematic in many ways. One, it teaches women that it does not matter how many times you reject a man's advances, he will continue to come on to her. On top of that, if a woman responds angrily or even violently to a man's persistent advances, that it is something she needs to apologize for. Two, it teaches men that when a woman says no, she doesn't really mean it. She may say no a thousand times, he still has a chance if he constantly asks. It hurts me to watch these scenes because it makes me feel helpless against male advances, which is exactly the lesson that this episode teaches.

Consent is MANDATORY

     Most people see this scene from The Little Mermaid as a very romantic scene. Most people viewing the movie at this part are rooting for Prince Eric to just kiss her already! Not only is the audience cheering on the Prince, but so is Sebastian who is Ariel's friend. My problem with this scene? It tells viewers, especially younger viewers, that it is not only okay, but romantic to kiss a girl without her telling you that it is okay, without her giving consent. Their ideas about consent, or lack of it, that they learned from this children's movie will then contribute to rape culture as they grow up. That is very problematic, and I believe that Disney has tried to right their past wrongs in their newest movie.

     That's right, Frozen. While I believe that this film is progressive for Disney in many ways, one that stood out to me was the issue of consent. Unlike in The Little Mermaid, where Prince Eric was told to kiss Ariel without her giving him the okay, Kristoff makes sure that Princess Anna wants him to kiss her before he does.

 

     While Anna kissing Kristoff on the cheek could be seen as consent in itself, the creators made her give verbal consent so that there was no confusion on whether or not she wanted to kiss him. Young boys who watch this movie will learn that you have to ask a girl before you kiss her, and I hope, will one day extend this lesson to having to ask a girl for consent before having sex with her. I believe that teaching lessons of consent like this to young children, especially young boys since most of sexual assaults and rapes are done by men to women, will help to decrease, and hopefully one day get rid of the omnipotent rape culture in which we live in. No, rape culture cannot be wiped out by one scene in a movie, but it is definitely a step in the right direction.

Hollaback at Street Harassers

     Can I start by off saying YES! This advertisement campaign has officially given me hope again that maybe things will change. I was scrolling through tumblr tonight when I saw a series of ads against street harassment. The link at the bottom of the post sent me to a website for the ad campaign, HollabackPHILLY. Starting in 2013, the campaign aimed to not raise awareness, but instead show people that it is in fact a problem. The campaign originally ran on a minimal budget in subway cars in Philadelphia, but starting on April 1, the campaign will expand to include bus shelters and subway station platforms.

Though many people have referred to it as such, this was not an “awareness raising” campaign. Do we need to raise awareness that the sky is blue? Street harassment is so common and normalized that we hardly even talk about it. Instead, our goal was to name it, and by naming it, problematize it. - Deputy Director Anna Kegler

 On the website, examples of the ads, as well as reactions to them, are posted.

A slideshow of all the ads can be seen here.

     As a female, I have experienced street harassment starting when I was about 12 or 13 years old. Most of the men I have talked to, and some of the women too, believe it is simply a part of life and that there is no harm to catcalls or whistling at someone as they walk by. But there is harm. When girls no longer feel comfortable and safe doing everyday activities such as walking around the neighborhood or taking the subway, there is a serious problem. I am so grateful to this ad campaign for showing people that this type of behavior is not acceptable. I hope that one day anyone will be able to walk down the street without fear of harassment from a random stranger. This campaign is definitely a step in the right direction.

Speaking Out

     One of my new favorite trends has to be female celebrities calling out Hollywood and interviewers on their sexiest tendencies and remarks. It shows to the viewers that sexism should not just be tolerated as a necessary evil, but instead needs to be rebelled against if women do want the same treatment as men. It is my hope that from seeing these celebrities, that many consider to be role models or even idols, speak out against sexism that other women and girls start to speak out against the sexism they experience in their own lives.

Demi Lovato's vs. X-Factor contestant 

     I was so proud of Demi for calling out both the contestant and Simon for their sexism. By calling her woman, they are belittling her authority on the subject and also belittling her as a person. The fact that Demi calls out her boss, Simon, for being sexist towards her shows that she was so offended that she felt it necessary to speak up, even if it meant her getting in trouble off camera.

Scarlet Johansson vs. Interviewer

     If you skip to about 3:30, you will hear a female interviewer ask both Robert and Scarlet a question about the same movie, but the questions are drastically different. While Robert is asked how he approached his role with maturity as a human being, Scarlet is asked about her diet she used to get in shape for the movie. I believe that her response is very professional, while very telling.

Anne Hathaway vs. Interviewers

     In the first two gifs, Anne is asked a very similar question that Scarlet was asked as they both had to get into shape to play superheros. I love how Anne refused to answer the question and instead replied with sarcasm. Why is it so important for the entire world to know what diet she was on or how much she exercised to get into the catsuit, unless they plan on trying to be Catwoman as well.

     In the second two gifs, Anne is being interviewed for the move Les Miserables in which she played a very thin, starving woman. I think her answer to this question is very appropriate. She does not want the people watching her interviews to think they should lose a lot of weight because she did for the movie. She instead emphasized how sickly she looked in the movie, which deters viewers from trying to copy her weight loss. 

Tiny Fey and Amy Poehler vs. Hollywood

     Two comments of Tina and Amy's opening monologue of the Golden Globes this year stuck out to me. These two women used their power as hosts to bring some light to the way that women are treated in Hollywood through sarcasm. One comment was that Gravity was a movie about how "George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend more more minute with a woman his own age." The second was about how Mathew McConaughey for his role in Dallas Buyer's Club "lost 45 pounds, or what actresses call being in a movie." It is my hope that those in attendance of the award show as well as viewers at home don't simply brush off their comments as only jokes, but instead really think about how Hollywood forces actresses to be very thin, and no longer give them work once they reach a certain age. Unless, of course, they are Meryl Streep.

Stalker!

     Approximately 24 people per min are victims of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner. With stalking being so prevalent, one would hope that the media would help to minimize these types of crimes. One would be wrong. Just listening to "Redneck Crazy" by Tyler Farr I could point out two problematic themes: the romanticizing stalking and victim blaming. Before I continue, please take a minute to listen to the song.

Romanticizing Stalking

     The whole premise of the song is that if the man did not love the girl so much, he would not be sitting outside her house all night long. It seems almost romantic, that this man is so hurt by the woman's actions that he is driven to stalking, but stalking is not romantic. It is terrifying, causing people to fear for themselves and their loved ones. I don't know about you, but I would definitely be scared if a drunk man was sitting outside my house all night, staring and throwing beer cans at my house. I would not be flattered, and I would not think it was romantic at all.

Victim Blaming

"You know you broke the wrong heart baby, and drove me redneck crazy."

"You know that's just not the kind of man I am. Yeah, I'm the kind that shows up at your house at 3 A.M."

     These two lyrics show best the victim blaming that is present in the song. The man blames the woman for him stalking her and being ready to fight her other man because she broke his heart. It is her fault that he is sitting outside of her house all night long. However, the blaming does not stop there. He goes on to say that she knew what would happen if she hurt him like she did. That takes responsibility off of the man and puts it onto the woman because "she knew what she was getting herself into." While yes, she should not have cheated on him, it does not give him the right to stalk her.

     The problem with these two things is that it makes the stalker out to be a man so passionately in love who was hurt by an evil woman so she gets what she deserves. If stalking is made to seem romantic and the victim's fault, then men who do commit these crimes will not feel the need to change their ways. Also, it could cause other men to rationalize stalking and do it themselves. Stalking is not romantic and it is no one's fault but the stalker. No matter what this song, that is played very often on country radio, leads you to believe.

Why are you wearing THAT?

     The girls of Pretty Little Liars are constantly being stalked, threatened, or hurt while also going to school (sometimes), working, and maintaining romantic relationships with whomever they are paired up with at the time; however, they always look beautiful. Hanna is considered the fashion-ista character, but the other three girls are always decked out in perfect hair, make-up and outfits. With a much as these girls have going on, you would assume that they would have other things on their minds than their shoes, but...

...that does not seem to be the case. Now, I have no problem with the fact that these girls are always dressed to perfection, and honestly I don't expect anything less from a show with a huge wardrobe budget, but I do have a problem with how they treat the characters when they are not looking their best. In order for these high school girls to even consider wearing sweatpants in public they have to have some sort of excuse.

Hanna was dumped by her serious boyfriend.

Aria was very sick.

 Spencer had a drug problem that caused her to sleepwalk to school. She woke up the next morning at her teacher's desk and put on the clothes she could.

     The reason that I have a problem with this is because most teenage girls who only have to balance school, work, and relationships, who do not have the added pressure of having a stalker trying to torture them, wear sweatpants to school quite often. During my senior year of high school, as these girls are in, I wore sweats almost every day because I was too tired to wake up early and try to look perfect. This show gives the girls that watch it an unrealistic expectation of beauty for when they go to school, and if they do not look as put together as the characters do, there must be something wrong. School is for learning. It is not a fashion show. It is not necessary or realistic for girls to have their hair and makeup done with the perfect outfit every time that they go to school. There is so much more to worry about during senior year than looking "perfect."

@#$%!

 WARNING: Vulgar Language

     It is almost impossible to turn on the television and not hear someone using profanity, whether it be bleeped out or not. George Carlin, an American philosopher, gave what he believed to be the seven words not allowed on television. 

     In his speech, he did not include one of the most widely used curse words on television. In fact, in 2010, it was the fourth most common non-bleeped out curse word, right behind hell, ass, and damn. It is also used 7 times more often in television than its male counterpart, bastard. I'll let Aaron Paul of Breaking Bad do the honors of saying it first in this post since it was his character's catch phrase.

     Yes, that's right. The word is bitch. Bitch has become such a part of language on television that it is included in many shows. This does not only include shows on channels such as Showtime or on television shows geared strictly for adults. The word bitch can be heard in many different shows of different genres on different television stations.

ABC Family's The Fosters

Fox's New Girl

CBS's How I Met Your Mother

FX's American Horror Story

ABC Family's Pretty Little Liars

     My problem with the word bitch being said so often on modern television is not the fact that it is a curse word. It is that fact that it is a very derogatory term for girls and women. According to Merriam-Webster, bitch can be defined as "a lewd or immoral woman" or " a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse." I don't understand how such an offensive word can be used openly, in any way, and as many times as the writers wish, while sh*t, a word used to describe feces, is put up with words, such as f*ck, that are off limits at almost all times. Breaking Bad was allowed one use of the word f*ck per season, but as many uses of the word bitch as they pleased. Why is this okay? 

     Another problem I have with the overuse of the word bitch is that in many cases, such as Pretty Little Liars and The Fosters, the shows are geared towards young-adult female audiences. Girls who tune into these shows have to hear the term at least once an episode. It becomes normal for them to not only be called a bitch, but to call others a bitch as well. The normalization of the word has allowed for many people to look the other way when it comes to saying bitch on television, but I believe that viewers need to realize that calling a woman a bitch is dehumanizing and degrading and should not be tolerated. Especially on prime time television when many females are watching.

FTM Transgender on The Fosters

Transgender actor Tom Phelan

     The ABC Family show The Fosters is getting a lot of recognition for being a very progressive and representative show, especially of the LGBT community. The newest LGBT character is a female-to-male (FTM) transgender named Cole played by real life FTM transgender actor Tom Phelan. Cole lives in a group home for girls while waiting for a space in an LGBT group home. Being a FTM transgender in a girls home causes many problems for Cole, many of which are shown throughout the show.

BINDING

     In his first episode, Cole is shown binding his chest in the bathroom with an ace bandage. Because Cole lives in a group home, does not have a lot of money, and does not have the support of his parents for his transition, it makes sense for him to only have an ace bandage to bind with. However, I was upset that the show did not go into the risks of binding with an ace bandage. The actual binding was not talked about at all. It is very important for FTM transgenders to know and practice safe binding techniques in order to save their bodies permanent damage.

HORMONES

     Another problem that Cole runs into during his stay at the girls home is access to hormones. These hormones are necessary in order for a person to transition from female to male. Because Cole lacks his parents support and is under 18, he cannot get the hormones from the doctor so instead he gets them on the streets. He claims that they are the same hormones he would get from a doctor and that they are safe. Later in the episode he is rushed to the hospital from overdosing on testosterone.

     

     I was very happy that The Fosters showed what can happen when a person takes hormones without a doctor's supervision. It is very important for youths watching the show to understand that they cannot get hormones from just anyone and think that they will be fine. There are many side effects with these hormones so it is necessary that a transgender have a doctor prescribing and monitoring the hormones and their effect on the body.

Visit TYFA for more information for transgender youths and their families.