Why You Should Not WHAT?!

     I am appalled CBS. CBS News recently released an article on its website titled "Why You Shouldn't' Report" Sexual Harassment." I feel like the title alone is enough to make people's skin crawl, but as you read, it gets worse. I will be going through the article, explaining why this is so problematic.

1. It is on a news website.

Even though it is an opinion piece, many people will not read the intro of the article, or even the article itself. Instead, many people will see the title in big, blog letters on their computers or their phones and take the advice given in the article without even reading it because it is on a credible news source. Those who do read the article will give it credibility because it is published on a credible website.

2. It is written by a woman.

 

 While this article may be seen as sexiest and out of date if written by a man, because it is written by a woman, especially one credible enough to be published on CBS News, readers are more likely to think that she is correct in her advice.

 3. The article itself

"Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dominique Strauss-Kahn's conduct with women have come to the forefront in the debate over sexual harassment. Of course, sexual harassment is ubiquitous. It is so prevalent on the job that girls can expect to encounter workplace harassment the first summer they work during high school. And it continues for a long time."

According to Penelope Trunk, workplace harassment is just to be expected, and even though it will continue from the teenage years until the woman leaves the workforce, she is telling girls and women to accept it because it "is ubiquitous." What can we do about it?

"As teachers and parents, most of us spend a lot of time making sure girls know what harassment looks like. What's okay and what's not okay when it comes to dealing with boys and men. If he tells you that you look nice one day or pats you on the back, that's okay but if he's ogling your breasts constantly or trying to give you a back rub, that's not."

This paragraph puts the responsibility for knowing what is and is not sexual harassment on girls and women. It is not a man's responsibility to know if he is or is not harassing a female. If the man is not responsible for knowing what exactly sexual harassment is and what is and is not acceptable, then he is not responsible for his inappropriate actions.

"Just because you identify it, though, doesn't mean you should report it. In fact, smart women don't file formal complaints against ordinary harassment. They either ignore it or handle it on their own."

She is doing two different things in this paragraph. One, she is encouraging women to not file formal complaints about sexual harassment by saying that they will be smart if they don't, but she is also discouraging women from filing because that would make them dumb. A woman ignoring or handling sexual harassment on her own can be very dangerous as ignoring sexual harassment over time can cause it escalate, possibly into sexual assault, and handling sexual harassment alone can not ensure that it will stop.

"1. The laws don't work.
The U.S. has a clear legal definition of sexual harassment. But the definition is not so important because the laws proscribe what a company needs to do in order to show the company does not promote harassment in the workplace. Once the company takes those measures, it's hard to win a case against the employer, no matter what the guy did initially. This means, for one thing, a company does not need to care for the woman's feelings or the legal definition of harassment.
Another thing is that it's very easy for the company to fire a woman who complains. The legal protections are murky and ineffective. Yes, sometimes women win big awards or men lose their jobs (See Senator Bob Packwood), but in a series of interviews I did with labor lawyers who represent women plaintiffs, the lawyers agreed that women are more likely to get fired for complaining and lose their case in court."

I am not going to argue and say that our laws are perfect at protecting women and punishing men for sexual misconduct because that is just not true. However, instead of just throwing in the towel and telling women to never report harassment, women should be encouraged to go out and try to gain better protection under the law.

"2. Harassment is an unfortunate part of climbing the ladder.
For sure, not all men engage in harassment. But the men who do self-select by seeking powerful positions in society. The same trait that makes men want power is the trait that makes men think it's okay to use that power in a male/female dynamic. But here's something that happens today: women who earn little money and have no career are more likely to feel they have nothing to lose if they report harassment. (Yes, they may not be able to afford to lose their paycheck, but it's easier for them to replace the job they have with another job that pays the same amount.) So they are dangerous to harass. Whereas women who have a big career have a lot to lose by reporting harassment, so they put up with it.
This is why, for example, Strauss-Kahn was sent to jail by a maid, but once he was there, many women with positions at the IMF came forward to complain as well. By the time the guy is in jail, there is much less risk of retribution. The bottom line for a woman, though, is that if you want to have a career of increasing power, you are going to have to keep quiet about the harassment."

Trunk is telling women that they need to chose between having a powerful career and feeling safe and comfortable in the workplace. By giving women this illusion of choice, you can then blame the victim of sexual harassment because she was the one who "chose" a career where she knew she would be harassed.

"4. International norms are ridiculous.
The laws that govern sexual harassment outside of the US are a joke. France is generally accepting of extramarital affairs, and sexual transgressions are seen as personal, not public. The IMF, as an example of a typical office full of highly educated people outside the US, has very lenient rules when it comes to harassment - to the point where women at the IMF dress carefully to keep men from bugging them. (For those of you who want below-the-knee skirts at work, please note that this is the same analysis to support the wearing of a Burka: men can't control themselves so women need to cover up.)
Once you become aware of the widespread tolerance for harassment throughout the world, it becomes clear that you will have to put up with it as a form of cultural diversity. If you want to be good at working with a wide range of people, you need to be good at brushing off harassment."

Again, Trunk is telling women that because it is highly accepted throughout the world, women should learn to just brush off harassment. I advocate that women do not just simply accept the status-quo about sexual harassment because as long as it is accepted, women will have to deal with it. Sexual harassment is not simply "cultural diversity," making women feel threatened and uncomfortable is not "cultural diversity." It is just wrong.

"5. Know the difference between sexual assault and harassment.
Harassment is often something the guy doesn't even notice. A study of from the American Association of University Women found that in more than half the cases, women thought men were harassing them and the men had no idea. So often, women can just tell the guy, I don't like that. And it works. Other times, women say I don't like that, and the guy keeps doing it. At that point, the woman probably has to take action (side note: here's a good way to leverage sexual harassment to your benefit).
There is a big difference between harassment and sexual assault. Strauss-Kahn is accused of attempted rape. This is in another legal domain, and the laws are stronger, and women should report rape. I'm glad that maid at the Sofitel did."

Trunk is again taking the blame and responsibility off of the harassers and onto the victims. As I said before, if a man doesn't know what he's doing is harassment, then he cannot be held responsible. In my personal experience, many men do not stop sexually harassing a woman after she tells him to stop. Instead, he either gets mad or amused that she got offended and then will continue his actions just to get a rise out of her. Trunk is also ignoring the fact sexual harassment can lead to sexual assault or rape. I also believe that this article could discourage women from reporting rape as well, even though in the last two sentences Trunk tells them that they should. I believe this because Trunk has spent the entire article telling women that inappropriate sexual comments, advances, etc. should just be brushed off, and would be by an intelligent woman. It, then, would not be an illogical jump for women to believe that an intelligent woman would also just brush off and not report sexual assault or rape.

Yes, the article was posted three years ago, so some may wonder why to write about it at all. Many of the comments on the article said the same thing. However, this article has recently gained popularity through the social media site, Tumblr. This means that a whole new group of females, especially young women as the site allows people to join as young as thirteen years old, are reading this article. While many look at it with a critical view, many others will not and take its message to heart.

As I domineeringly lean over you, pushing you against a wall...Sexual harassment in action

Big Bang Sexism

     There are MANY problematic aspects of The Big Bang Theory, but one I find seriously troubling is the sexism involved in the show. Howard Wolowitz, a self-proclaimed ladies man, constantly hits on the lead female character, Penny, throughout the series until he's in a relationship. All of Howard's advances are met with a very clear no from Penny, but Howard refuses to stop harassing her. 

Examples:

"The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition"

Howard: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.

Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.

Howard: So there is a number.

"The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization"

Penny: Howard, would you like to explain to me why your Facebook page has a picture of me sleeping on your shoulder captioned: "Me and My Girlfriend"?

Howard: Uh oh, here comes "The Talk"!

"The Lizard Spock Expansion"

Howard: May I say Penny, not a lot of women could look as hot as you do with such greasy hair.

     As seen in the examples above, Howard hitting on Penny has, through almost constant repetition, turned into harassment. Howard's friends, however, never do anything about his behavior expect for, almost halfheartedly, telling him to stop because he's embarrassing himself and them.In Season 2 Episode 12, "The Killer Robot Instability", Howard again hits on Penny, but this time she does not just shrug him off.

     After Penny yells at Howard, it is obvious that his friends are shocked by her harshness. They even compare her to a killer robot, an inanimate object with no feelings whose only purpose is to destroy. Summaries of the episode even call Penny's behavior cruel and that Howard was a subject of her wrath. 

     What is even worse is that Howard's friends tell Penny that she needs to go and apologize to him for hurting his feelings. Even though she was the one who had to deal with the constant sexual harassment for years, she was at fault for yelling at him to make him stop. When Penny goes over to Howard's house to apologize, he takes her apology as an okay for him to make a move on her again.

     Penny, reasonably, responds with punching him in the face. However, apparently even that is not enough to deter him, as at the end of the episode he tells his friends that he is at least half-way to pity sex from Penny.

     This exchange is problematic in many ways. One, it teaches women that it does not matter how many times you reject a man's advances, he will continue to come on to her. On top of that, if a woman responds angrily or even violently to a man's persistent advances, that it is something she needs to apologize for. Two, it teaches men that when a woman says no, she doesn't really mean it. She may say no a thousand times, he still has a chance if he constantly asks. It hurts me to watch these scenes because it makes me feel helpless against male advances, which is exactly the lesson that this episode teaches.

Consent is MANDATORY

     Most people see this scene from The Little Mermaid as a very romantic scene. Most people viewing the movie at this part are rooting for Prince Eric to just kiss her already! Not only is the audience cheering on the Prince, but so is Sebastian who is Ariel's friend. My problem with this scene? It tells viewers, especially younger viewers, that it is not only okay, but romantic to kiss a girl without her telling you that it is okay, without her giving consent. Their ideas about consent, or lack of it, that they learned from this children's movie will then contribute to rape culture as they grow up. That is very problematic, and I believe that Disney has tried to right their past wrongs in their newest movie.

     That's right, Frozen. While I believe that this film is progressive for Disney in many ways, one that stood out to me was the issue of consent. Unlike in The Little Mermaid, where Prince Eric was told to kiss Ariel without her giving him the okay, Kristoff makes sure that Princess Anna wants him to kiss her before he does.

 

     While Anna kissing Kristoff on the cheek could be seen as consent in itself, the creators made her give verbal consent so that there was no confusion on whether or not she wanted to kiss him. Young boys who watch this movie will learn that you have to ask a girl before you kiss her, and I hope, will one day extend this lesson to having to ask a girl for consent before having sex with her. I believe that teaching lessons of consent like this to young children, especially young boys since most of sexual assaults and rapes are done by men to women, will help to decrease, and hopefully one day get rid of the omnipotent rape culture in which we live in. No, rape culture cannot be wiped out by one scene in a movie, but it is definitely a step in the right direction.